In light of the recent gay youth suicides, I feel it is important to reflect on my experiences as a gay youth to let LGBT kids to know that life does get easier. We are different, and people in high school have a way to never let you forget about it.
Maybe you can't see it yet, because the bullying seem like an endless onslaught. Life is full of challenges, and fighting for respect while maintaining your pride can be an all out war.
I guess I was lucky when I came out in 2003, I had a warm welcome by a strong group of core friends. Not to mention I had fellow gay allies to watch my back. On the rare occasion I was harassed for being gay, the taunter was a Bellevue poser" "gangster." For those who aren't familiar with the geography of the Seattle area, Bellevue is a growing wealthy community east of Seattle. It's where "new money" families come to live lavishly. So as you can imagine, a "gangster" from this suburbia didn't to much to intimidate. Sure, there were uncomfortable moments with other guys in gym class and the locker room, but I was able to evade conflict.
And sure, I had my awkward and frustrating times, the feeling of being a stranger in your own skin. But I also remember feeling intensely liberated for the first time. I had done it, I had finally said it outloud to someone else--I was gay. And if it wasn't for the courage and loyalty of my friends, high school could of been a lot different.
To all my fellow Bellevue School District Gay Straight Alliances members, thank you for being you and fighting the good fight.
School was fine, but home was a different story. I have four older brothers, who are quite a few years older than me. They were all out of the house, and it was just my parents and I. My mom was the socially liberal parent, but she is marred by tragedy. The death of her cousin from AIDS a decade earlier had left a less-than-favorable impression of the gay community. She was scared for my health and safety. She was worried about gay bashings, and so was I. But this didn't stop me from expressing who I was, and not being scared to make mistake and look like an idiot. What others think of me shouldn't affect my happiness. Never put your happiness in the hands of someone else.
In conclusion, to quote the great Ru Paul, "If you can't love yourself, than how the hell are you going to love anybody else?"
We're a community, tap into that communal support and strength. You won't regret it.
Love Always,
Ryan
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